If you suspect you have a cheating partner, you will go to any lengths to find out the truth. There is nothing worse than not knowing. Nothing.  The curiosity can take you to some strange places, places you never thought you would visit. Such is the life of the human heart.

I know full well that there will some visitors to this blog who are looking for answers in that regard. At some point I hope to have something up of value that will be of help. I am not being dismissive (at all) of the need to know, but right now my focus is on the aftermath, when the ugly truth has finally come to light.

If you are confronted with a cheating partner or spouse, at some point in this process you will come to a fork in the road to your recovery. That fork is to forgive or not to forgive. It will be one of the toughest choices you will ever make in your life. But, it is a choice you will have to make.

There is something that feels so good about being righteously angry, isn’t there? The energy and adrenalin that come with it are off the charts. It almost becomes a drug of sorts, infusing what was once stale with vigor and life. There is nothing that springs us into feeling like the perception we have been wronged.  There is blood, and on some level we like it.

Anger is often a reflection of being hurt, and that hurt seeks an expression. All perfectly natural, I think. All perfectly understandable.

But, when is enough “enough?”

After the confession of a cheating lover, I’ve know couple who have been embattled for months and even years in this type of mess. Round and round they spin. Never stopping. Ceaselessly repeating the hurt, over and over and again. In fact, I was a part of one those couples. It was all one big “Yuck-fest,” to be sure.

Eventually you arrive at what I call the “So What” phase. Yeah. They did this. It was wrong, and they should be ashamed. They had no right to do it.  They have lied, and it was hurtful.  But, “so what?”

Cheating Partner & the “So What” Phase

I do not mean to trivialize the pain of betrayal from a lying spouse. Having gone through it, I know how deep the pain runs. It is breathtaking in its depth. But, after you have discovered a cheating partner and the dust has finally settled, what then?

I believe now that forgiveness may be the only way out, whether or not you stay with your cheating partner and continue the relationship or opt out, deciding you have had enough. Forgiveness allows you the opportunity to start fresh and begin anew.

I am speaking of a true, genuine forgiveness that comes from the heart; not just the mere repeating of a few words. That is rather meaningless. Anyone can say, “I forgive you,” but to mean it is a different matter all together.

I think forgiveness is important, not for the life you have lived, but for the life you want to live. I think it is important not only for your cheating partner and the health of your old relationship, but also and primarily for yourself. It may be the only way you have to be released from the suffering when encountering relationship trouble.

The Cheating Partner & Taking Chances

Whether or not you decide to stay with your cheating partner, forgiveness is a chance you give to yourself to start over again. At some point, you are going to have let go and begin fresh. And, even if you let the cheating partner go and end the relationship, forgiveness gives you the opportunity to be free of the pain of your past and to truly move on to different section of your life that is meaningful.

Do want to be forever tied to your betrayal? How many more days will you allow to be lost to that place?

Don’t you want more? Don’t you deserve more?

How do you forgive a cheating partner? Maybe it starts with a choice. And, that choice is yours.

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Tagged as: cheating lover, cheating partner, lying spouse