What is an “emotional affair,” and what are the signs of an emotional affair, tip-offs that either you or your trusted partner have fallen into one?
Simply put, it is defined: As extra-curricular involvement with someone another than your spouse or partner. This involvement is highly intimate and charged with emotional energy. It can easily create a problem within the boundaries of your relationship with your spouse or long-standing partner. Sexual contact is not involved, but an exchange of intimacy is.
This exchange of this deep intimacy is often much more harmful that a casual affair or a one night stand. There isn’t a real emotional exchange going on there. This is not true within the boundaries of an emotional affair; the communication is deeply personal and charged with a highly suggestive sexual element.
What makes this involvement so threatening is that neither side of it see it coming. And once two people do become attached to each other, it is difficult for them to acknowledge how dangerous the relationship can be. They exist in the great wide world of denial – doesn’t this place have a population problem?
“Well, they are really just a friend to me. There’s nothing wrong with having another friend, right? Can’t I have friends with someone of the opposite sex? Is there really anything wrong with that?”
Rationalization just ain’t a river in Egypt.
This denial/rationalization allows the emotional affair to continue, being viewed as nothing but benign, and the two people involved don’t see it and don’t feel any guilt for it. It can often escalate into sexual intimacy if allowed to continue over any length of time.
Signs of an Emotional Affair – Telltale Signals
Fair enough then, what are the signs of an emotional affair? Let’s take a look:
- Are you sharing private information that was reserved for your spouse or partner?
- Do you schedule time to be together privately and do you look forward to that time more than your other friendly relationships?
- Does your spouse or partner know about those meetings and their content?
- Do you find yourself pre-occupied with this emotional involvement, daydreaming of them through your day?
- When you encounter a problem in your life, who is it you think to turn to in your time of crisis? This emotional friend or your partner?
- Take this involvement take time away from your spouse or partner?
- Has this friendship taken the emotional charge out of your relationship with your spouse or partner?
What to Do When You See Signs of an Emotional Affair
If you’re the one involved and are worried about the signs of an emotional affair, that’s good. You are aware enough to know there may be a problem and you’re looking for solutions. That awareness can quickly sort all of this out for you. You may have avoided the problem of how to survive an affair before it even started.
If it’s your partner that is involved, please be aware that they be completely lacking in this awareness and the dangers of where they are lightly treading.
Sit them down and talk without firing a bunch of accusations at them. Tell them straight up what you are seeing, and why you are concerned.
The answers you receive will be very telling. If your partner is open to discussion and handles it all above aboard, you may have just averted a catastrophe in your relationship.
If your partner is defensive, says you are crazy, “We’re just friends and you’re a jealous nag” well, you may have a huge problem on the short horizon. This type of behavior allows for a lying spouse, and makes your relationships ripe for an affair.
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Article by Stan Sentavi
I have been through a betrayal that I thought would break me. It didn't. It made me stronger and more resolute. I am a wiser and a better person in the end. I now know the most important relationship you ever have is with yourself. Be responsible and demand the life you want. No excuses. No playing the role of "victim."
has written 87 awesome articles for us at InfidelitySurvivor.com
