What are the top signs of cheating?
How can you spot a wayward partner and what can you do about it?
The very first bit of advice I'd give to anyone in this situation: Stay as calm as you possibly can. If you suspect your spouse or partner is cheating on you, the emotion you will experience is off the charts, and you'll have a thousand volts of high electricity cruising through your veins. Not good for reasoning and decision-making.
Top Signs of Cheating: Rule Number 1
Slow everything down as much as you possibly can, clear your head and allow the reasoned part of your brain to take over. This will be a colossal benefit to you in the long run and even aid you in your quest to discover the truth.
If you have someone in your life that you know for absolute certain is 100% trustworthy, someone who loves you and has your back, seek them out and talk about your suspicions. This will help you calm down some and allow you to process some of your emotions.
I also recommend getting a journal and that you immediately start taking notes. When you're looking for the top signs of cheating, you want to be as meticulous as possible.
Write down everything: Times, dates, names, your suspicions, thoughts and feelings. Don't underestimate the power of this. This little technique will give you the best friend you're ever going to have through all this: You.
Tops Signs of Cheating: Rule Number 2
Do NOT confront your partner with your suspicions until have enough provable facts at your fingertips.
First, what if your suspicions are dead wrong and there is no cheating going on? You're going to look and feel foolish, and it could do some damage to your relationship. Secondly, if they involved in an affair of some sort, you've just whispered in their ear that you are aware of it. This means they'll be much more careful to cover their tracks in the future. Which means your job of getting at the truth is going to whole lot harder.
Keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth shut. Make them feel comfortable and give them the space to reveal all the layers of what is really going on behind closed doors.
Tops Signs of Cheating: Rule Number 3
Watch their use of the Internet and their cellphones for tip-offs of a cheating heart.
Our culture has advanced a great deal in the last few years. Social networks abound, and they are a fertile ground for a potential betrayal. An old flame or a new one is just a click or two away.
Are they spending an inordinate amount of time on the computer?
Do they guard their time there?
And, you want to watch their use of the cellphone as well. Are they getting calls or text messages at strange times? Do they leave the room to take calls? Have you noticed that their cellphone is NEVER left lying around now?
This is a HUGE tip-off that your partner may be involved with some extracurricular. If you see these signs, put your senses on high alert and continue watching as closely as you can.
Tops Signs of Cheating : Rule Number 4
If you've been involved in a long-term relationship, you are used to defining yourself as a couple. You think in terms of you as a pair, us. That's a natural inclination. The decisions you make are with your partner in mind, and you think this could never happen to you. This happens to other people, you think. You are immune.
But, no one is immune to the epidemic of having a trusted partner cheat on you. And, if you have strong suspicions you could be being betrayed, now is the time to stop thinking of yourself as couple and begin to view yourself as an individual, the person you were before you met your partner.
The best way to do this is by quietly questioning everything. Why are the now dressed up every time they leave the house? Why are the suddenly working a lot of strange hours? Why is the cellphone never out of their sight?
Tops Signs of Cheating: Rule Number 5
Access their car when you know you have a block of free time without them around. Their car is another private area that could possibly be a treasure trove of information.
Go through the glove box and the console. Look under the visors and in the side door panels. Look under the mats and between the seats. Check the ashtray, and the radio stations. Do you notice anything out of ordinary?
You'll want to be on the lookout for receipts, match books and phone numbers.
Is there a piece of strange jewelry that doesn't belong to anyone in your family?
Cigarettes that your partner doesn't smoke?
Is the seat at a strange spacing, for someone who either much longer or shorter legs than anyone who would usually ride on the passenger side?
Be on the lookout for any strange hairs you see on the headrest.
Those are just a few of the top signs of cheating and some early rules to follow when you suspect you have a cheating partner. Stay as calm as possible and take action. You are the only one in your world that can solve this for yourself.
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Article by Stan Sentavi
I have been through a betrayal that I thought would break me. It didn't. It made me stronger and more resolute. I am a wiser and a better person in the end. I now know the most important relationship you ever have is with yourself. Be responsible and demand the life you want. No excuses. No playing the role of "victim."
has written 87 awesome articles for us at InfidelitySurvivor.com
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I really like your blog. I totally agree with the first part that one must stay as much calm as possible. I have noticed that people freak out after they notice few signs that may point at infidelity and eventually they lose the argument.
But, it’s not really about winning an “argument,” is it?
More about relating to one another. Sharing. Seeing and being seen. The greater the vision, the more intimacy can occur. And, the more intimacy we experience, the more mystery and beauty we allow into our lives.
Thanks for visiting and the comment!
-Stan
“Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.” ~ Zelda Fitzgerald